eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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