I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
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You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
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You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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