oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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