if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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