Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize