She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize