I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize