evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize