I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize