you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize