i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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