I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize