Don't you send me to vm
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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