I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize