I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize