i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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