If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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