Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My dick has a subreddit
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize