i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
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When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
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Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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