how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize