btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Less talking, more tequila
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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