I feel like I'm in dance class right now
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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