Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
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He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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