were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize