i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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