thus making me awesome and them whores
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize