I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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