theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize