I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize