Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize