I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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