yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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