i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
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I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My breasts were aching with rage.
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EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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