Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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