i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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