I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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