Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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