How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
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so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
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I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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