i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
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i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
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The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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