haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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