They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize