so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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