You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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