Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize