I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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