I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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