So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize