how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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