I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize