did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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