I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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